Before engaging in a mission of mercy with anyone, take a step back before making any commitments. Particularly when it comes to people who fall into one of the categories discussed in the first two video parts of the Outlier Introductions, Violators, Context, & Cautions series. Ask yourself these four questions.

1. Is helping a specific person or group your responsibility?

2. Will extending some opportunity/assistance to a person or group yield a significant contribution your desired outcome statement (beyond visibility and low-grade public relations)?

3. Is the person or people chronically self-destructive in their decisions and actions?

4. Is there a high risk of finding yourself in a position of distress by helping a certain person or group in one or more of these categories?

If your answers in order are two no’s and two yes’s that is a huge red flag. Can this situation have a happy ending for all involved? Perhaps. You have to make that call, though keep as a priority your own well being and those who depend on you.

It can be hard and even feel mean to take this position, but look at your situation through the lens of your desired outcome statement. Is it wise to divert time, energy, and other resources from achieving your desired outcome to any other effort? There are problems, while genuine and perhaps severe, which just are not in scope for you.

Keeping Notes & Taking Names

Record your interactions in your CRM system immediately after the event. It may be helpful to write down your thoughts and opinions in a journal before they become forgotten memories. This is critical to help you follow-up with those high-potential introductions. It is also just as valuable to keep track of low-potential introductions.

In your CRM, create tags and enter notes to capture your thoughts and their viability for future interactions. I use the terms “Low-potential introduction” or “LPI” for a tag. Same with “High-potential introduction” or “HPI”. Write down why you gave that person whichever tag in your CRM . It’s not uncommon for a LPI to resurface asking for a connection or coffee meeting to “catch up”. Which I then mostly decline after reviewing his profile. For me that “LPI” tag is often paired with “Inactive”, “Avoid”, and other appropriate tags.

When an “HPI” reconnects you know that there is some level of opportunity that exists for you and that person. It is also helpful to nurture these contacts and send periodic emails (quarterly or so) to “HPI” connections (something a CRM can help facilitate). Sometimes it can take months or longer for business conditions to become beneficial for people to work together.

What is “done”?

Before we start doing anything, we need to know what we want to achieve? What is our desired outcome? Too many times people get an assignment and off they go to work on it. Without thinking through what that endpoint is, much less how to get there.

When I work with people, I use the term “desired outcome”. It’s more descriptive of what it is we want to do - get a specific outcome. Not just any outcome. Defined outcome is a term I drill down on time and time again. Because it matters.

If you don’t know when something is done, you don’t how much to work, what equipment and talent is required for the work. How much money is that work going to cost?

If you cannot define “done” and how to measure it and you move forward, remember that moment. It could the end of a job, career, reputation, or worse. You could get lucky, but how comforting is that strategy if you fall into ruin?

Protect Your “Done”

A huge threat to achieving a desired outcome is scope creep. If done has not be defined, shared, and embraced people can add “little” additional tasks. And then some more. Maybe some big tasks.

Done never happens. It takes much longer and costs way more than envisioned when it was first proposed. For an entertaining look at scope creep, check out the movie satire “The Pentagon Wars” starring Cary Elwes and Kelsey Grammer showcasing a bloated effort to create what became the Bradley armored personal carrier.

Another common threat to “done”. People have different definitions for the same task or project. A manager thinks one thing. A team lead has a different definition, staff yet another definition and none of them align with the executive how created the project! Chaos breaks out and finger pointing begins.

Creating and using a desired outcome statement is your best defense against chaos and scope creep. If you are looking for clarity on determining your desired outcome statement, here is a process I share with my clients. Creating this statement is not enough. It must be embraced and used in making decisions and taking action. Resistors to this practice must be converted or removed from the activity.

Do you need to go through this process for every “done” you’re working on? No, mundane low-risk tasks can and should be knocked out quickly.

There are two flags which indicate you definitely need to have a clearly defined desired outcome. If your desire outcome significantly impacts people and/or money, go through the process to define your desired outcome. You get to define “significantly”. These are two areas (people and money) where a lack of understanding “done” can cause real damage to people and businesses.

Don’t sabotage yourself before you get going. Define you done. Define your desired outcome.

In “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” Dr. Stephen Covey framed this concept as beginning with the end in mind. This is not a new concept to humanity. But it is one that is often ignored and shunned for the perceived benefit of getting a task done more quickly. Or that it’s an unnecessary step.

Little “Dones” Add Up

Context and scope are also important factors when it comes to desired outcome. For all but the most simplest tasks, “done” requires a number of smaller victories.

It can be tempting to cut out steps. Or at least overlook them. Then they are discovered during your task. This often leads to rework, wasted time, lost money, and frustration. Even outright failure.

One of the core principles of engineering is breaking big complex tasks into more smaller ones. This makes the work more manageable in effort and impact. When a task or subtasks breaks, it’s far easier to find it in an isolated group of work. Think through how you will achieve your desired outcome. The big steps and then the little steps necessary to finish tasks and subtasks.

Celebrating “Done”

When you get to “done”, recognize it! How common is it when something is completed to move on to the next project or task? With little or no acknowledgment of the contributions and work that went into achieving that goal? Maybe it’s a celebration lunch. A quick ceremony including teams, customers, and other groups involved with the work. Do something to mark this success. Bigger successes can merit more significant celebrations.

Don’t ignore done. They can be hard to come by. About two-thirds of business projects fail. Celebrate the wins.

Exercises

1. Thinking about your current goal, how many things do you still have to get done?

2. How will you know you are done with your goal?

3. When you are done with your goal, how do you plan on celebrating this achievement?

4. What steps can you take to avoid scope creep happening on your goal?

Communicating with strangers can be unnerving for a lot of people. It can bring on anxieties and fears like few other things people will regularly encounter in their daily lives. Which is what introducing yourself is all about. There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to introductions, just like a blind first date.

One element of communication we can shape and influence is our confidence.

There are things you can do to prepare yourself for these interactions with other people. People who will like you, hate you, not care about you, and everything in between. Your self-confidence will determine how you respond these reactions. Before we delve more into confidence and ways to build and use it, let’s begin with these three statements. Let them free you from common communication-related fears and anxieties.

• Don’t feel ashamed or guilty focusing on your desired outcome. Other people are focused on themselves. You have to be your most vigorous advocate for what you want to achieve.

• Most introductions will not lead to achieving your desired outcomes. That’s ok, it’s part of meeting people. Getting through low potential introductions (this does not mean low-potential people - though that might be the case at times) is a good thing because you then get closer to high-potential introductions. Plus, there’s always a chance you make that accidental connection that creates an unexpected opportunity.

• Do not feel obligated to have a follow-on meeting with everyone you meet. You should probably be saying no more often than yes to accepting low-quality follow-on meetings.

It does no good to worry about things you cannot control. Of feeling compelled to do one thing or another that doesn’t make sense. As you gain more confidence and experience, you will make better decisions leading to better results. These are conditions that exist when meeting people. You’ll make mistakes. Learning from them is also a big part of developing confidence.

A warning. None of this is guidance or a license to be rude, mean, or a jerk when making an introduction and networking. Be professional and courteous. How you exit interactions with people matters because communications don’t end at any one moment. They live on in the memories of those who participated in them with you.

Working with people on confidence skills is a big part of coaching and training. Teaching people the technical knowledge they use (with confidence) is the other half of the work. Without confidence, your outcomes and opportunities will be unnecessarily limited, regardless of your expertise in your field.

This is more so with communication. Without confidence in your communication, there’s a good chance you do not even get an opportunity to practice your trade for an employer or customer. Confidence is essential to being a good communicator.

Do you feel you have the communication skills, information and capability to engage successfully in an activities that matter to you? Yes or no? Regardless of your answer, the next steps are the same.

Step One: Preparation

Preparation (including practice)largely determines your success in most everything before you do anything. You might be asking then, “Why don’t people prepare and practice more often to do the best they can at some task?” Fair question. It comes down to stakes. For most daily routines people eek by with mediocre abilities or doing tasks that require very basic abilities to succeed.

There are activities with risks and benefits outside a person’s normal comfort zone. They usually involve money, health, and/or love in some combination. For those areas people want or need to do a do better then they think or know they are currently capable to achieve their desired outcomes. Or to avoid undesired ones.

Take a minute to write down two lists. One are outcomes you want to achieve (desired outcomes). Then there are outcomes to avoid (bad outcomes). These outcomes can include losing your job, getting a new job, landing a client, you or someone else dying, or disappointing someone important to you. And this list goes on.

Sounds grim? It is. People typically respond more to fear than a positive motivator.

With that said, are there people and organizations who strive to create and maintain competitive advantages over rivals due to a commitment to excellence? Without and before crap hits the fan? Yes. But you’re pretty rare if that’s the case with you. You’re awesome, but rare. Anyone can operate with this mindset. Building and exercising confidence is essential for this perspective.

Probably about one in five of my clients proactively seek excellence. Most people I work with (and likely reading this) want to become a better communicator due to one fear trigger or another. It’s just how we are are wired as humans.

So people make the decisions to prepare to do something new or better. This is what education really is about. Learning how to do something to a point where your odds of success go up and risks are reduced to acceptable levels.

When do you decide to more thoroughly prepare for a communication activity? Two quick tests are if a communication is likely to significantly impact money and/or people (there are others but these are the two most common factors). What does significant mean? That is up to you. “Significance” can be highly specific and unique depending on you and your organization.

What goes into preparation? In general preparation will involve these steps.

1. Creating and verifying your desired outcome.

2. Securing support from one or more senior leaders, customers or other appropriate people.

3. Validating your audience are people who can contribute to achieving your desired outcome.

4. Do you have the means, capabilities, and skills to create and deliver your communication or the ability to get needed resources?

5. Practice communication until a high level of comfort and confidence has been attained in its delivery.

Step Two: Execution

You have to do “the thing”. Getting ready for too long can easily become procrastination. Confidence is a difficult trait to nurture and practice. It is an indirect result of doing something well.

Today people fear failure so much that it prevents them from building confidence. These people want to be confident of success before they do something (new or otherwise). Confidence does not work this way.

You cannot buy confidence. No one can give it to you.

Doing the “thing” is ultimately what builds confidence. Doing it over and over and over again. A lot. Even though you will be tired, frustrated, bored, and resistant (even all at the same time) to making a full good faith effort each iteration. Most of the time you have to do an activity before you feel fully ready.

Get a sheet of paper and write down, “I will do (fill in the blank) to the best of my ability on or by (insert date here). I will not let fear to procrastinate or delay what needs to be done.” Make it your phone’s wallpaper, stick it on your bathroom mirror, your monitor, in your car…or all of these places. Read it aloud to yourself every time you see it until you’re thinking it without any of these prompts.

After you’ve executed your communication, it’s not done. A critical component of confidence is the ability to review and assess how well you executed a plan (i.e. communication activity). It’s so easy to just move on to the next thing. Hey, you’re done! Why do an after-action assessment? Your desired outcome most likely fell into one of three types of results. All of these can be used to learn from and some may have unpleasant forms accountability.

1. Your communication activity was a total success! What can you use from this experience to facilitate future success? These are fairly rare, but they can happen. And it’s fantastic when they do occur.

2. There were wins and losses in your communication. This is the most common result from a communication effort.

   1. Did you get a big enough win to move to count this as a win? Or at least as good enough?

   2. Will you need to redo part of the communication activity?

   3. How do you capture these lessons and share them with others to avoid these missteps?

   4. What consequences will need to be addressed from this performance?

3. You/your team failed miserably to land your message! Do a deep dive into what and when things went wrong. Learn from this failure and share those lessons.

   1. Will you need/be allowed to redo the communication?

   2. How will you/your team be held accountable for doing a bad job?

Doing an after action assessment is crucial to becoming better as a communicator. Going through this process alone will provide an advantage because most people do not review work they have done (not enough time, or money, or desire to do so). These reviews can damage confidence if approached with the wrong perspective. How you display professionalism and maintain composure will help repair any knocks to your confidence. Though it might take longer than you like.

Confidence comes from doing something right, stretching your skills, and doing more things right. When something goes wrong, confidence and desired outcome is what gets you up after getting knocked down. Even when we feel the “best” thing to do is stay down. Because we know deep down the “right” thing to do is figure out what went wrong, learn from that, and try again.

Sounds simple? Building and exercising confidence is not a difficult concept. Is it easy to do? No, not at first. Most people fail. It’s why they stay in safe comfort zones. Which is good for you because people who stay on the sidelines mean there’s less competition for you in the world.

Why do so many people stay on those sidelines? Not pushing boundaries in their lives? No wave making?

Confidence has a big brother/sister. Faith. Specifically faith in yourself. Faith in yourself powers self-confidence.

People without confidence lack faith in themselves. So they play everything safe. A really sad decision for them.

I don’t see how a person has confidence with faith. Sometimes it can be hard to have faith in yourself. Especially during times of real hardship. Real losses like death, health issues, losing a job, families falling apart, and not enough in the bank to pay for essentials like shelter and food.

When other people have faith in you, use that. Use faith from every source you can find. Religion, family, friends, coaches, mentors, movies, books, music…anywhere you can find it.

A quick side note. Be wary of people closest to you. There are those who will truly have faith in you. They are golden. Honest cheerleaders each of us needs in our lives.

Then there are people who are supposed to care for you who really root for you failure or just don’t care. You probably know who these people are in your life. But you don’t acknowledge their secret disdain for you. I have a special tag in my CRM for these people. It’s not flattering (for them), but it serves as that little voice in my head when I have to interact with them or they ask for something. Some of these people cannot be avoided, but why waste time or energy with them any more than absolutely necessary?

When you have faith and confidence, odds flip more in your favor. And it shows. Especially in communication. People yearn for these traits because they are the priceless treasure behind any communication.

“I believe in myself. You should believe in me. Let’s do this together.”

This is being your authentic self. In a way that contributes to success.

Talking over the heads of your audience can feel good. Whether it’s bosses, co-workers, customers, partners, or friends, airing out that piece of intellectual superiority gives you a high. Perhaps this what doing drugs feels like?

Though it’s more than that, speaking as an engineer and having been guilty of this behavior long, long ago. It makes people feel good to feel smart. Which isn’t bad so long that you aren’t making other people feel bad in the process.

Addressing this issue does not mean a person is technically “wrong”. Someone speaking in what’s perceived as arrogant, dismissive, and condescending can be factually right. But this communication style can ruin a person’s efforts to achieve that desired outcome. This is what communication is about - achieving your desired outcome.

In general, it’s not a good practice to intellectually pummel another person. Some people may even have this coming for good reason. Thinking about those who ask for a “quick” change on something that takes days or even weeks - not hours.

Collaboration is important when working on desired outcomes. Even when a person is an expert in one area, that is typically not enough achieve a desired outcome (think project, complex task, significant change) at high level in a timely manner.

There is a bigger problem. Much bigger. People may not like you. As right as you might be in your statements, people may feel threatened or imitated by you. This can become an issue when that person is decision-maker over your work and compensation. And they will seek other options for what you provide as a product or service or you as an employee.

What leads people adopt this behavior of speaking to other people? Keep in mind, most people tend to not be aware of this behavior, so this can offer a powerful coaching opportunity. Common reasons include:

1. They work in fairly insulated environments. Certain language, acronyms, and behaviors are used everyday by people in these industries and organizations - like any culture. Which is fine, until you have to interact with people outside your group.

2. They are trained to think and behave this way. This tends to apply to people doing difficult and/or dangerous jobs. In my first engineering course we got the whole look to your left and look to your right thing, at least one of those people, maybe both, will not make it to graduation. Our attrition rate was between 50%-60% from start to graduation (big ego bump for those who graduate). Then we were told we shouldn’t be able to talk to business grads because they won’t get it (i.e. they’re not as smart). This can also apply people who are military veterans and other specialized cultures.

3. Ego runs amok. Some people are just wired this way. This scenario typically requires more coaching attention than other situations.

4. They cling to past accomplishments without preparing and working towards tomorrow’s desired outcomes. Think of that high school football state champion quarterback that still wears his letter jacket years after graduation.

These factors are problematic and not uncommon. Multiple factors can apply to one person. Often they are rooted in fact, which can make them difficult to overcome. Sometimes they can deeply impact how people get along at work and beyond. Like any other problem, it needs to be recognized to be addressed.

Take a couple of minutes for reflection. As objectively as you can be, do one or more of these reasons apply to you? Try to separate your emotions from this self-analysis. This is an exercise to help you identify if one of these situations apply to you so you can take action or seek coaching as appropriate. This may also be a great exercise for you to do with people you lead.

When you possess something of value, whether it be a physical object or something more abstract like knowledge, think forward to how will it deliver value to other people. How it benefits you is important, but that’s only one piece in your success puzzle.

Before and during your interactions with people, ask yourself these five questions. It’s easy in the heat of discussion or excitement for an opportunity to skip over these considerations.

1. Will your audience want to do business with you?

2. Do they have options other than working with you?

3. How can you build goodwill while protecting your interests?

4. Will they want to do business with you in the future?

5. Will working with this audience help me achieve my desired outcome?

How you project confidence can change in different situations. Be excellent at what you do. Composure is a huge part imparting this expertise to other people.

There’s also a question of chemistry. Some people just don’t click. If this cannot be addressed in a professional manner, it’s time to move on. When you talk to bosses, peers, subordinates, and customers - anyone - at minimum keep questions one, four, and five in the back your mind. Those can be good guardrails for being mindful of your tone and disposition while avoiding mistakes and miscommunication.

Introductions involve an element of vulnerability. You are putting yourself out for the world to criticize and savage. People like to think of introducing themselves in terms of “saying hi”, “I’m so and so and I do whatever…”, and “nice to meet you”. At a basic level, it comes down to if someone thinks there is some benefit to doing business in some way with you. Does that stranger think you bring something needed or desired and can you deliver on that value?

Judgements and risks can become quite a rabbit hole for people to tumble down once they start thinking about these aspects of introductions, much less communication, work and life in general. That rabbit hole can easily transform into dark, bottomless pit that’s hard for a person to pull out of and reach their potential.

Everyone gets tempted into peering down rabbit holes. Looking in and jumping in are two different things. The best solution to stay out of that deep, dark hole?

Self-confidence. Not just for introductions and staving off doubt and weakness. Self-confidence is the number one asset for good communicators. Good communicators stay focused on those desired outcomes while radiating self-confidence that prompts people to be better at communication . They are role-models for others to emulate and stretch far outside of their communication comfort zones. Watching them in action is inspiring, educational, and entertaining. They’re legendary in their circles. Because of their self-confidence.

How do you build self-confidence? Confidence itself is not an endpoint or something you can purchase from the confidence store. It’s a trait that happens for people through purpose and repetition of execution. Lots of repetition, struggle, and doubt. Which frustrates and upsets many people.

Confidence comes from doing something else well. The more often you do that thing well, the stronger your self-belief grows in those skills. Part of what makes confidence so valued and powerful is it’s often attained through failures, some quite severe and bitter. There are also practices and habits you can develop (to be shared in post in the near future).

People act and present themselves in different ways - how they translate their confidence into interactions with people. There is one reliable measure of the existence and application of self-confidence in a person. It is near impossible for this to exist without confidence.

Outcomes. Confidence is both North Star and power plant that motivates, guides and propels people to achieving their desired outcomes.

More to come…

People want to be heard. They want to say things. It’s how we show our smarts and value to other people. Or is it?

How Nothing Can Be Important

Actively deciding not to do something (like sharing a message) is one of the most overlooked strategies of communication. There are many people who fall into the camp of saying something is better than saying nothing. It’s how you show your worth? That you have the answers! That you are truly smart.

No. Not true. It can actually result in the opposite of these desires and worse.

The central theme for the 1983 movie “WarGames” submits a strategy typically rejected by many people. Winning by not playing. But it can win the day. And prevent a global nuclear war.

There is a value in not sharing a message. It’s far more subtle, but can yield a number of benefits.

• By making room for others to show their cards which might give you an opportunity to learn from or out maneuver them to strengthen your position. This is critical when there are people pursuing competing desired outcomes.

• It may be prudent and beneficial to wait for critical information or an event to occur. You cannot wait forever, decisions have to be made and messages shared with the world. But a little delay can provide you a crucial advantage.

• Sharing your message runs a risk of harming achieving your desired outcome and/or your reputation. Once information is shared, it cannot be undone.

Strategic Silence

One of the virtues of the philosophy of stoicism is self-control (also referred to as temperance). Can you separate your emotions and desires to objectively evaluate if you should communicate a message?

In today’s environment of continuous communication, results, and decisions (often the wrong ones) it can be difficult to not participate, but that might be exactly the right decision. Are you self-aware of the impacts from sharing a message? How they relate to you? How they relate to your desired outcome?

Inaction, silence, and omission - these are actions driven by a decision. To many people it feels like doing nothing. If it helps, think of them as decision-driven non-actions. Which may well be the best thing to do. This can feel confusing - that you can make a decision to do nothing. It is a valid strategy which takes some getting used to how you probably communicate with people. Consider it strategic silence.

Whether you decide to engage in a communication activity or not comes down to one primary decision. Set aside your need to heard. Put your ego to one side. Ask yourself this one question.

Will engaging in this communication activity harm achieving my desired outcome?

If your answer is no, verify it will help achieve your desired outcome and that it is worthy of the effort. If so, then carry on with your work. If it’s yes (or a maybe) at least take a quick pause. What other options do you have or can create in lieu of this communication activity? Each time ask this question.

The tough part of this is carrying through on your decision. There can be a lot of different factors trying to pressure you into sending what you choose to be the wrong message at the wrong time. There could a time when you have to do this.

But this is not every time. Or it shouldn’t be. If it is, that’s probably a deeper problem. One of the best ways to practice deciding not to do something is practice not doing it.

Practice

Get a friend or colleague and charge them with trying to get you to say you will share a message you think will harm your desired outcome. Ask them at random times to ask you these questions about the message you do not want to share.

1. When can you share (fill in the blank with communication activity)?

2. (Fill in the blank with name) is really looking forward to that (bad communication activity name) going out next week.

3. How much more time until (bad communication activity name) is done?

4. Why are you opposed to (bad communication activity name)?

This will help to keep you on your toes and become comfortable with saying no with a reason.

Playing the Long Game

Success and contribution is not always about saying something first or doing something for the sake of doing something. Is sharing that message (or not sharing it) the right thing at the right time? Sometimes the answer is not for tomorrow. This kind of decision may not pay off for your desired outcome until some time in the future.

In an age where sharing information is easier than ever, the value of privacy—both for businesses and individuals—cannot be overstated. Not everything needs to be broadcast to the world, and in many cases, discretion can be a powerful asset. Whether it’s a company’s information (trade secrets or otherwise), or an individual’s personal details, what is kept private can become a crucial advantage in negotiations and decision-making.

For businesses, how and if information is shared can be the difference between success and failure. When sensitive data is shared, it can quickly become leverage for competitors or negotiating partners. A company that reveals too much about its plans, finances, or internal processes may find itself at a disadvantage, with rivals able to anticipate moves or exploit weaknesses. In this sense, privacy is not just about secrecy—it’s about maintaining a competitive edge and protecting the interests of an organization.

On a personal level, privacy plays a vital role in how relationships are formed and maintained. If every detail about an individual is readily available, the incentive for others to engage, ask questions, and genuinely get to know them diminishes. The process of discovery is a fundamental part of human connection; it’s how trust is built and meaningful relationships are forged. Oversharing can strip away the mystery and depth that make interactions rewarding, reducing people to a set of facts rather than complex, evolving individuals.

Ultimately, knowing what to share and what to keep private is essential for both business success and personal fulfillment. Privacy allows for the preservation of advantages, the protection of interests, and the cultivation of authentic relationships. In a world that often encourages oversharing, remembering the value of what is left unsaid can be a powerful tool for both organizations and individuals alike.

How we conclude something often holds greater significance than any other aspect—it reflects our commitment to achieving the desired outcome and sets the tone for what follows. This principle was exemplified by the Florida Gators during their remarkable run to the NCAA men’s basketball championship. Frequently trailing in games, they showcased resilience and focus, pulling off dramatic comebacks through effective communication among players and coaches. Their ability to stay locked in on their goals and execute under pressure was pivotal in securing their third national title.

In the championship game against Houston, the Gators demonstrated this resolve once again. Despite being down by 12 points in the second half and struggling against Houston’s formidable defense, Florida rallied with a decisive 15-3 run late in the game. Their defense played a crucial role, forcing turnovers and making key stops in the final moments. The team’s unwavering focus and cohesive communication enabled them to seize the lead for just over a minute—a fleeting yet decisive period that secured their victory. This championship run underscores how finishing strong can define success, both in sports and beyond.

Communication is inevitably intertwined with confidence. Recently, I revisited a typical conversation that underscores this connection. It starts with a focus on communication, then the two-headed beast of fear and confidence emerges—sometimes subtly, and other times, it leaps boldly into the midst of the discourse.

“I need to improve my confidence when it comes to communication,” is a frequent concern shared by potential clients.

My usual response: “Why do you feel this way?”

The reply often follows: “Because I have to [give a big presentation/lead my team/host an important client meeting/something else].”

“Okay, tell me about some of the communication work you’ve been doing.”

“Honestly, none. I need confidence to attempt any communication. I’m afraid I’ll mess up and look bad. I could even lose my job.”

This familiar dialogue reveals three critical insights:

1. Fear as a Crippling Motivator: Fear heavily influences actions, often obstructing progress.

2. Expert Confidence as a Prerequisite: Many feel the need to possess expert-level confidence before they can communicate effectively, trying to eliminate or ignore fear.

3. Risk Aversion: The person has become so risk-averse that they avoid performance opportunities, which impedes the development of confidence and communication skills.

This outlines a typical fear spiral. People often get ensnared, unable to break free, leading to self-fulfilling prophecies of their worst fears becoming realities.

Fear, in itself, isn’t a negative motivator—in fact, it’s among the most common. People are typically driven by pleasure-seeking or pain-avoiding impulses. More often than not, change occurs when the pain surpasses a person’s tolerance threshold, even after they should have acted weeks, months, or years ago.

The challenge lies in distinguishing between two types of fear. Category one involves "real" fears, such as concerns about basic needs like food, shelter, security, and healthcare. Category two encompasses transitory fears, such as embarrassment, imposter syndrome, learning from mistakes, excelling in one's job, and feeling unworthy of accumulating prosperity.

A traumatic public speaking experience, a meeting blunder, a leadership failure, or a customer presentation gone wrong can become lasting scars. People obsess over these fears, which usually fall into the second category, yet becoming too entrenched in them could make the first category fears a reality.

Real fears (category one) can lead to substantive consequences. Transitory fears (category two) are more often self-constructed, can be addressed and overcome through practice and performance, ultimately building confidence. Confidence, in turn, empowers individuals to tackle real fears more effectively.

Closing Note: Fears are like scars—they remain with us as reminders rather than obstacles to eradicate. Confidence and performance are effective strategies to keep fears subdued, allowing space for them to motivate appropriately. Acknowledge their presence, and use them strategically to propel you forward.

The concept of Personal Principle is critical to achieving Desired Outcome on a business and individual level. This concept is an essential antidote to some of the worst advice and guidance given to professionals in the past decade.

Persona Principle Part 1: Overview

Persona Principle Part 2: Context, Outcome, & Perspective

Persona Principle Part 3: Consequences, Self, & Opportunities

At the end of working on a desired outcome, there is assessment. Was there success? Failure? During reflection and evaluation, desired outcome statements continue to play a role in determining what went well and where there were shortcomings. See through the desired outcome process - including using desired outcome statements related to performance, decision-making, and accountability.

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Desired Outcome Statements (DOs) are critical tools for guiding organizations, teams, and business units by shaping decisions and actions to achieve success. They act as guardrails and safety nets, ensuring focus on achieving specific outcomes, while also offering techniques to identify poor performers who may hinder progress. DOs influence planning and execution, clarify objectives, enhance communication, and increase the probability of success when leveraged effectively. This approach fosters better decision-making, aligns efforts with measurable goals, and maximizes value delivery throughout a project or initiative.

Key Points:

• Role of DOs: Provide structure, guide decisions/actions, and ensure alignment with desired outcomes.

• Benefits:

• Improve clarity of objectives.

• Enhance communication and transparency.

• Increase value delivery and project success rates.

• Leveraging DOs to align planning and execution with measurable goals.

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When to Create and Use Desired Outcome Statements

How to Use Your Desired Outcome Statement

Identifying Poor Performers

Effective communication of desired outcomes is critical for organizational success, providing a strategic framework that aligns team members and drives collective achievement. Key aspects include:

• Creating a clear, comprehensive statement that serves as a guiding compass for decision-making

• Establishing a shared understanding of goals and objectives

• Fostering collaboration and accountability through transparent communication

• Balancing digital and interpersonal communication methods

• Ensuring objectives are familiar, discussable, and open to constructive challenge

• Benchmarking all decisions and actions against organizational goals

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Why Communicate Your Desired Outcome Statement

Communicating your desired outcome statement is essential because it ensures that everyone involved has a clear understanding of the goals and objectives, fostering alignment and collaboration within the team. A well-articulated outcome statement serves as a guiding framework that helps individuals make informed decisions and take consistent actions toward achieving the shared vision.

How to Communicate Your Desired Outcome Statement

To effectively communicate your desired outcome statement, it's crucial to use a blend of interpersonal and digital communication methods that align with the needs of your audience. Ultimately, balancing digital convenience with personal interaction can enhance the effectiveness of your communication strategy, ensuring that your message resonates and achieves its intended impact.

When to Communicate Your Desired Outcome Statement

To effectively implement and utilize DOs (Defined Objectives) within an organization, it is crucial that everyone is familiar with and comfortable discussing, implementing, and challenging these objectives. Decisions and actions should be benchmarked against the DOs to ensure alignment with organizational goals.

If you don't write down your desired outcome, it remains just a wish—something intangible that can easily disappear. There's a structured process to help you articulate this outcome, which will guide your thoughts and creativity. Many people struggle with writing things down because they don't know where to start or what to do. This process will address that challenge.

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The goal is to create a high-level strategic statement that impacts most, if not all, aspects of your life, business, or organization. You'll learn to craft a concise three to five sentence statement that encapsulates what needs to be accomplished. This statement will serve as a benchmark for decision-making, action-taking, and identifying areas where further research is needed.

Get started with this collection of essential strategies, practices, and concepts for successful communication. This is an essential skill for successful work products and advancing your career.

Content: 3 videos

Keys to Professionalism

What's the best way to unlock your full professional potential and achieve extraordinary success?

Key takeaways include:
- The critical role of confidence in decision-making and risk-taking
- Why professionalism is a must for personal and organizational growth
- The significance of defining clear desired outcomes for professionals, leaders, and customers
- How consistency can enhance trust and predictability in professional settings
- How desired outcome drives actions and decisions for professionals
- The impact of communication on professional relationships and organizational objectives
- Strategies for instilling a culture of professionalism within teams

Purpose & Overview

What does using desired outcome principles matter? In this lesson we dive into benefits for individuals, teams, and businesses. We also introduce the four phases of the Desired Outcome Life Cycle.

Desired Outcome & OKRs

There are Desired Outcomes and then the actions that make them happen - those are OKR's. In this video we talk about what they are, their differences, and how they work together.